Cold Feet

Running down the same trail for 18 years of my life, and suddenly I can see the end nearing as the days go by. Graduation is in the horizon and I can feel my knees shake already. The thought of closing this chapter of my life frightens the h e l l out of me.  I can’t imagine having to pay bills, or have any legitimate responsiblites before me.  I’d almost prefer to stay ignorant to my surroundings and just be safe in my home up on the hill. What will happen to my daring spontanious personality as I grow older. Will I become dull and boring? Will the fun things that take my breath away now, be a burden in the future? These questions bounce around in my skull from time to time and I can’t help but wonder.

I have very mixed feelings about entering adulthood. Sometimes I feel as though I had to grow up already at a young age. Which is definatly true, but it some ways im still babied. My father still cuts my meat for me, something that may seem odd but I really do love it. Little things like that just make me laugh, and they’ve always been that way. What girl doesn’t wanna be pampered once in a while anyways, and if you’re a daddys girl you’ll know exactly what I am talking about. All in all I am very excited to graduate from highschool, I can’t say it was that simple school wise. But socially I had an amazing time and I was very fortunate to be surrounded by friends the way I was.

Paths I may take as years go by may have its ups and downs but ultimatly it will shape me better as a human being. I want to experience anything and try to fill my brain to the brim with knowledge. Living without any fears and zero regrets. As I slowly push the page to the next chapter I am very optimistic for what the future may hold for me. Whether it be success, love or fortune I’m embracing it with open arms and a smile on my face.

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~ by icallithowiseeit on May 26, 2011.

2 Responses to “Cold Feet”

  1. I wish there had been a way to communicate like this when I was in high school. The internet certainly makes it easy to see that you aren’t alone in your feelings. Optimism is good. I know my children are experiencing the same hesitation you. Pretty daunting , isn’t it?. Llife will be full of surprises – good and bad. One of the best things about getting older is finally understanding your parents and knowing that they have been your biggest fans even when they weren’t.

    • I totally agree, I love the fact that I can communicate my emotions on the interenet through writing. Graduating is a very scary thought, but also very exciting! Thanks for reading.

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