Irrational theories

Through my short life i’ve come to realise how rediculous some of my fears and theories are. They’ve all developed from the oh so tragic situations that have occured, or just because I tend to over think everything. First off, my parents are always so damn concerned with the smallest of things. ” Wash your hands well after you eat that pizza, grease travels. ” Is one of the many one liners I hear on a daily basis. If my hands arent being washed properly, the towels haven’t been hung correctly ” How will the towels dry if you fold them that way? ”  Uh… I do not care? Usually a response that crosses my mind.

Number one most irrational theory of mine is that all dogs are out to get me. If I am alone outside and I see a dog, my instant reaction is panic, althought I try to hide it. ( Since I’ve been told they can “sense” fear )  Its been this way for as long as I can remember. Nearly everytime I’d walk to my friends down the street my neighbors dog would be straight on my heels the whole way. I know many hiding spots to avoid our fellow k9s. Playgrounds, snowbanks, trees, I’ve even ran into strangers houses before! As a child these fears were seem as normal, nothing really out of the ordinary. Now, 18 years old I avoid walking outside alone at any cost. Not because im afraid of strange men, or being jumped. Whatever the normal thing is to be afraid of. Its dogs. Now with Summer time in our midst bears is on the menu as well.

Some people may have never seen a  bear, or even expierienced one. Yes, although they are beautiful animals and have every right to wander where they do. They’re scary as hell, many bears around here become immune to human presence WHICH is a really bad thing. But many usually come into town during the Summer months and destroy garbage bins. I’ve had countless occurances with bears, some just plain stupid thanks to those around me. The most terrifing time was when I was walking home on a really rainy day and I could see feet behind a vehicle. I instantly thought it was a human, till shortly after I looked up from under my umbrella and this massive black bear was jogging towards me. I was completely stunned, I threw my umbrella down and sprinted towards the bear in order to reach my house. If there has ever been a time I could’ve crapped my pants, that wouldve been the time.

Last but definatly not least, I’d definatly like to think I have an appealing personality. I think outside of the box and im not overly girly. I like getting dirty and I love an adventerous thrill. Which some guys are interested in, but from past expierience I just can’t seem to trust any guys that come into my life. Im not the type to sleep around and I always feel as though thats all guys want. Even if I do meet a great guy i’d be lying if I said it wasnt at the back of my mind once in a while. Trust is something that needs to be earned, Not given freely.  So with that in mind, I suppose thats an issue of my own. I realise that not every single guy out there is a cheater, well I hope not anyways. It bothers me that one person has ruined my overrall opnion of an entire sex. But, its the truth. In my eyes anything is possible. Even the craziest of scenerios I had thought up almost always came true. Living a horror for so long can only leave scars. Fortunatly, im aware of my feelings about men and I know alot of them are just fears. So I keep my mouth shut, worrying only worsens situations.  Until next time, Cheers

 

icallithowiseeit

 

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~ by icallithowiseeit on June 22, 2011.

One Response to “Irrational theories”

  1. Flawless

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