Where Do I begin

I can’t even describe how I am feeling right now. Im sitting here in tears thinking about the past few years of my life. Always wishing id graduate and just grow up. And now i’ve finally accomplised it and I feel completely stumped. Completely torn on how I should be feeling, happiness is probably what I should be feeling. But I dont feel that at all, I feel so depressed about the thought of my life changing so durastically. I wish I had enjoyed my teenage years more, and of course I had a blast. But I was always wishing I was older and that I could just finish high school. Now that Im here I cant help but feel uneasy. I left my dry grad a little bit early¬†because I couldnt even bare how I was feeling. All my best friends around me and knowing they wont be with me in a couple of weeks. Its nearly unbarable to think about. Being completely over dramatic, I dont care. I don’t wanna move and I don’t wanna grow up ever. The thought is completely terrifying for me. I can’t imagine not coming home to my parents. Or always having them to lean on in scary times. Is growing up suppost to be this scary? I always thought id be so thrilled to get out of this place, but now that the time has come im this close to sprinting into my room and locking the door forever. Staying young and being care free forever and ever. Sigh, time flies.

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~ by icallithowiseeit on June 25, 2011.

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